Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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