Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
