so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
