I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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