I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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