Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
