Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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