This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
