no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
