We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
