dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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