talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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