is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
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