It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
is that a dick in a sweater?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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