He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
