Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
