Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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