I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
