I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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