My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
