O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Acid is not a monday night drug
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
