Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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