don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
