Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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