Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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