I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
