God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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