Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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