Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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