cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
