i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
