lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
