if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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