This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
