Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
