Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
