this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
