It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
