Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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