Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
