Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
