Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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