Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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