This is not my ceiling
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
It's shark week go big or go home
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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