idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
