He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
