Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I touched a dick in church today
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
