If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
