I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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