Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
